From "Stuff Happens" to Systems Thinking
Stuff happens in program.
Imagine it’s 3:15 on a Tuesday and participant CJ just knocked over the art supply cart while running from Marcus, who’s upset because someone told him CJ said his new shoes were fake. Four parents arrive early for pickup, standing and scowling impatiently at the front desk while you’re on your knees picking up markers. Your most reliable staff just texted she’ll be late and the snacks still haven’t arrived - again.
Just another Tuesday in after-school programming – or is it?
What if the daily chaos of your program isn’t random at all? What if those recurring frustrations, the same difficult parents, the predictable kid conflicts, the weekly supply shortages – are actually telling you something about your program’s systems? What if you can stop being the pinball?
It’s easy to slip into the “stuff happens” mindset. You’re just going about your business and stuff comes your way from all over the place. It puts you in a reactive stance that burns you and your staff out, wastes system resources, and ultimately delivers less impact for your participants. By shifting your perspective a bit, you can start to reduce the “stuff” flying your way.
The "Stuff Happens" Mindset in Youth Programs
It can feel you’re just minding your business when “stuff” happens.
Sometimes it’s good stuff. Your funding was approved and you just hired a great new staff member.
Sometimes it’s noxious stuff. The annoyances and frustrations day to day.
Sometimes it’s mysterious stuff. It makes us think “why are they doing that?!”
Sometimes it’s both noxious and mysterious. Take a few examples:
You make what seems like a simple request of your boss, and instead of them agreeing right away your boss looks anywhere but you, shuffling around and mumbling “uh…. We’ll see…” Your boss’ reaction is stuff coming your way, noxious and mysterious – it’s a simple request! Where did they find this weak wish-washy boss??
You are at a staff meeting and present a new program plan you think they’ll love. Instead, they put up a wall of resistance and hate it. That resistance is stuff heading your way, noxious and mysterious – I just don’t get it, I do so much for them. What’s the matter with them?
You know you have a family that is upset so you make a gesture to build relationship and trust. Instead of appreciation, that family replies with anger and sarcasm. More stuff coming your way – How did families get so nasty? Why do they think that’s ok?
When stuff happens, we tend to look for someone else to blame – our boss, our staff, our families. We find comfort in the stories we create where we are the victim – our boss is incompetent, our staff just don’t know any better, our families are just mean. It’s super satisfying to have someone else to blame and then complain about over drinks later with our friends.
We then take things personally, as if they are intentionally hurting or blocking us. In our story, “they” are always doing this to is. We get mad, we try to get even, we withdraw. We feed into the stories and keep looking for things to reinforce those stories.
Our actions become “stuff” for other people. They make up their own stories about us and blame us for our motives and competencies. They react to us by getting mad, getting even, or withdrawing. On and on it goes, our blindness to each other destroying any chance of partnerships.
It doesn’t have to be this way. What if instead of making up stories about the “stuff,” we could know the real story?
The Shift to System Sight
Thinking of things as “stuff” that happens to you is a form of system blindness. Once you notice it, you’ll see it everywhere in life. You can’t keep falling into the same cycle of blaming others and making stories up, and your staff can’t do that either. When we have system blindness, we can’t see how our part of the system/organization/program affects the whole, how other’s worlds impact the system, and how our world impacts theirs and how theirs impacts ours.
If you feel like your program culture is struggling, this is probably part of it. Staff need to change their thinking from “who’s causing this problem” to “what conditions are creating this behavior.”
You have to as well.
You’ve probably heard the concept of “staying curious” in tough conversations. That power of curiosity applies here too. Rather than being quick to judge using the stories we tell ourselves, we should be investigating and looking for connections between seemingly unrelated events. When we start asking questions, we can reveal system dynamics.
We can go from system blindness to system sight.
Take three examples day camps and after-school programs often experience.
Issue #1: Families picking up their kids late
When we have a system blindness perspective, we blame the families and their “stuff:”
If only they could manage their time better!
If only they valued our time, we’re people too!
If only they actually cared about their child’s education!
If only they had all their “stuff” together!
Instead, we should be asking some questions:
What assumptions are we making about the families?
What things might be going on in their life that’s causing them to be late to pick-up?
Is our system impacting the ability of families to pick up their kids on time?
When we stay curious, we can stop blaming and have system sight:
Families have work and other commitments that make it tough to pick up their kids at the time we set-up. It’s a bit of a childcare issue. Can we change our pick-up time? Can we partner with them to figure something out?
Issue #2: Kids constantly having behavior issues
When we have a system blindness perspective, we blame the kids and their “stuff:”
If only they had better parents!
If only they cared about how great this programming is!
If only they were better behaved like the kids at that other program!
If only they were different kids!
Instead, we should be asking some questions:
What assumptions are we making about the kid and their behavior?
What things might be going on in life that’s causing them to have behavior issues?
Are we judging them for behaviors we don’t judge others?
What about our program is trigger the behaviors? Lack of structure? Skill of staff? Format of programming?
When we stay curious, we can stop blaming and have system sight:
All behavior is communication, so this behavior is a form of feedback on the design of our program. It’s not working for them, so we need more ritual and structure, better trained staff, and more opportunities for movement in our program.
Issue #3: Staff struggling & Underperforming
When we have a system blindness perspective, we blame the staff and their “stuff:”
If only they were better quality!
If only they actually cared about this job!
If only they actually read their emails!
If only they knew how hard I worked for them, they’d be grateful!
Instead we should be asking some questions
Is it actually a lack of motivation or do they lack some skills?
What is the real “underperformance” issue?
Do they lack role clarity about their job?
What systems or routines are not in place/not supporting them?
When we stay curious, we can stop blaming and have system sight:
We need to stop blaming their lack of will and instead identify the lack of skill. We need more systems and structures in our program so our staff feel held, listened to, and supported. They need additional training to feel better equipped to handle their job.
System sight is not saying that the other folks are never to blame for their parts in contributing to the issue. However, as we covered before, it’s a vicious cycle of stuff happening to each party. One group has to stop that cycle, and as leaders of our programs it’s up to us to do so. To move from helplessness to agency, blame to responsibility, and reactive to proactive.
Concluding Thoughts
You can keep you and your program falling into the same predictable trap: “they” are just flinging “stuff” in our direction. However, that system blindness won’t move your program forward. Instead, when you implement systems thinking, you create system sight. You realize the problems aren’t random or personal but instead problems in need of better designed systems.
It takes ongoing practice to begin to develop system sight. It’s so easy to tell the stories about each other. In our next blog, we’ll explore that concept more and how we can go from the “side show” of toxic gossip to the “center ring” of systems and accountability.
Interested in knowing more? Talk to us! Feel free to reach out to us with your questions and follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest! We’ll be able to help you solve your problems.
Interested in working with us? Sign up for a free 30-minute call to assess your systems and see how we can help.
#programmanagement #youthbehaviorsystems #staffretentionstrategies
